The Most Important Thing In Communication...
Former Microsoft Marketing Director on BHP #115 | Oscar Trimboli Takeaways
…is hearing what isn’t said.
Oscar Trimboli is a 30 year veteran of the marketing and technology industries. A former Marketing Director for Microsoft, he is now a leading authority on listening, making him a highly sought after consultant for the likes of Google, PayPal, Reebok, HSBC and others.
A writer, speaker, and host of an award-winning podcast, Oscar’s research on listening includes work with chairs, boards of directors, executive teams, and global organization and has over 14,000 data points from around the world.
His work - and the information he shares in this podcast - helps leaders of all kinds focus their attention and their listening on building organizations that have impact and create powerful legacies for the people they serve.
“The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.”
- Peter Drucker
My big 3 takeaways from that conversation are below.
You can listen to the full interview at any of these links:
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The 125/400/900 Rule
Oscar’s research into listening has led him to some pretty incredible discoveries about the way our brains work.
In this case, we’re looking into the neuroscience of thinking, listening and speaking:
125 words per minute = speaking pace
400 words/minute = listening speed
900 words/minute = thinking speed
As you can see, ALL of us can think and listen much faster than we can speak.
So, if you get distracted when you listen to someone talk, you’re…wait for it…NORMAL!
That’s worth repeating: we all get distracted because our brains can process information and think at much faster rates than someone speaking to us can verbalize their thoughts.
The power comes in what we do do with this information…
i.e. Using the gap to our advantage.
Difference Between Good & Great Listeners = Noticing What Is NOT Said
This takeaway builds on the previous one.
Now that we know a speaker can only verbalize 125 of the 900 words they’re thinking per minute, then we also know they’re only articulating 14% of what of they’re thinking. (125/900 = 14%)
Great listeners ask questions that help the speaker verbalize the 775 words that the speaker is thinking, but not yet saying.
Let me repeat that in case you got distracted:
—> GREAT listeners are able to help the speaker verbalize what they’re thinking.
So, how do we - as listeners - help the speaker articulate those thoughts that haven’t yet made it into word form?
Here are 3 questions from Oscar that can help us do precisely that:
Tell me more…
And what else?
[Nothing] Stay silent, but hold eye contact…
How To Have Better - And Shorter - Meetings
Meetings…ugh!
Meetings are a 4-letter word for many in the corporate world.
But they don’t have to be.
Meetings aren’t the problem.
The problem is the way most people run meetings.
Oscar shares an extremely powerful question with us that will make your meetings exponentially more productive, and most likely much shorter.
In fact, people might actually start to look forward to meetings with you (gasp) - if you use this.
The question: “What would make this meeting/conversation a success for you?”
Alternate version: “What would you like to get out of this meeting/conversation?”
Right away, we set the tone and establish the desired outcome - the purpose - for this interaction.
We skip the BS and get right to what matters… what a powerful concept for meetings!
2 Caveats:
The person who asks this question must also declare their objective/goal(s) for the meeting at the outset of the conversation.
Every 10-15 minutes into the meeting, check back in with that question. How are we doing in regards to hitting our stated goal/objective for this meeting?
Your Turn
What is your biggest takeaway from this episode? Share it in the comments below.
LISTEN to the full interview:
Keep Moving The Chains,
Munsey